“Deep in the human unconscious is a pervasive need for a logical universe that makes sense. But the real universe is always one step beyond logic.” -Frank Herbert, Dune
A few things about me, Derek, the D0 avatar:
Average but not at all average:
I’m no one special, I don’t stand out in any particularly special way that makes me unique other then, a ridiculously active mind and A.D.D. that is hard to control sometimes with a deep desire for information……..I have a bad case of Peter Pan syndrome, I am a man child trapped in a 44 year old avatar who likes to think on big things and explore the universe from a scientific backing. I currently work as a field service engineer for hospital laboratory automation and clinical diagnostic equipment. My job fits my personality well, high stakes, high reward, high emotions, always puzzles to solve and things to understand better, constant learning, a team that is great, I am happy with it for the most part. My only problem being I don’t have enough time to write and create at the levels and depth that I want. That all takes money and time that I don’t have currently. So I created this business as a way to stay organized and keep producing content in a way that’s easy to distribute and share, separate and in line with the book.
Things that are hidden and kept from “polite” society I have always explored, and can be useful sometimes. Hence the branding of My Psychedelic Death, Just like that of a deep psychedelic journey, the NDE space, the one I took, traveling that space for a very long time. The All was the same in how it is presented by clarity more real and confusion just as balanced and understanding always. It is just as hard to describe in human words and symbols but here we go. I need awareness of my story because there is so much data and useful information in there in my memory that I’m not so sure I was supposed to remember or understand it yet, but I chose to come back and an agreement was made as I understand, to share what I can, as I can, with the skills I have and can develop. Certainly we forget that travel, but we have clues in our world here on earth from the past buried in the myths and tales of our past. In the ground still, and in vaults of the greedy, hidden and forbidden.
The Work:
IT, the Infinite, wants to play along to experience the physical plane by creating from the idea’s it supplies via life’s lighted tentacle reach. As dark and light need balancing and are always tussling with each other, so is the muse of those powers of light and of dark, the emotion and the physical, the Yin and the Yang, the photons in supper position, then the physical is created in fractal form, just like the universe is, through the thoughts of the ideas of the life force the infinite, the all, because that’s the “time” or “space” between that’s how long it takes. So I write, but am capable of producing so much more content from that space for us Seekers to explore. I plan on keeping the content free on the website, but it is a fluid living collection as I build stories from memory.
This webpage is the ground work or homebase of my exploration outside of and accompanying the book. I have played with story telling, writing, public speaking, art, sound and music creation my whole life. I have tools to make some of the music I heard. I have AI’s help in digital art to help me bring visuals to the equation, I plan to start a podcast talking about the information, I love telling stories, it is way easier then typing, but the writing can be way more eloquent with time editing and polishing, this site is a landing page so it is incomplete and not yet as spectacular as I intend but, I am learning everyday how this all works….as you can imagine it is a lot of work! I can’t do it alone! I need help uncovering mysteries and exploring the space I got to remember. Let’s do that, I am overwhelmed with all the information so it is getting typed in my journey memoir that I am writing, My Psychedelic Death. I plan to publish this book with my memory of my journey through NDE space and a following 3 week coma. I am going to try to write it out as clear as I can from my memory, as fun as my memory can be at times, and then we can together dissect and unpack the gift that I was allowed to take back in the form of memory and mystery and we can explore all the idea’s with an open mind and heart and maybe figure something out, but at the very least, help Anyone understand more of our place in the universe or our place in hope for loved ones in that battle currently.
The Inevitable Request:
If you feel the content that I am creating has worth to you, I have one product in my store at the moment and that is a newsletter:
ONE TIME subscription for a $1 / product. Buy as many as you feel the content has worth to you or none at all. When You buy at least 1, $1 product you get put on a mailing list for the archived newsletter content!
This will be, old content from this page no longer published as it will constantly change now I have a vehicle to drive it. Think of this as a donation where I can keep inventory and records, It will not renew and you can do business as much or as little as you like, buy 1 donation, buy 100, still $1 each and you can select to receive the digital content or not, but share the knowledge, read the information, unravel it with me because it is by nature cryptic and riddled and I am soooooo excited to research deeper and unravel it more once I figure out how to find time to finish writing it and editing, see the story has already taken place so it is easy to write, but what to focus on and explore is the question. Eventually I believe that I have enough journey for volumes of novels. So if this book and story connects and touch’s people then I would like to write about it and create from it full time, but I need help. Buy a one time product subscription and be put on the earliest version of the project, My Psychedelic Death by selecting the sign up button below! if you feel so inclined!
“The mystery of life isn’t a problem to solve, but a reality to experience.” ― Frank Herbert, Dune
It is no mystery why I got the ink I did as soon as I was able after this incident. In a lovely trip to Hawaii to see my talented daughter, Aayla play flute at Pearl Harbor in June 2023. I have obsessed over the universe of Dune my whole life, first, but this goes much, much deeper. Lets explore this, The sand worms create the water of life that lets the divided god Leto 2 and Paul see the golden path or rather they can see all futures and pasts of how they can effect humanity and would have to do brutal things to solidify humanities existence over time, Paul refraining after seeing what it would take, I tend to side with Paul, and Leto2’s very lonely journey though acquiring knowledge and putting it into effect. Now I don’t have any grand illusions of anything like that, but if one person out there finds themselves in a similar spot, just keep going guy (D3)!
So Shai Halud, “Bless the maker, Bless his coming and the going”, the sand worms spiral up my arm in a triple helix pattern adding a worm to the twin snakes of the staff of Hermes the Greek God of thieves, athletes, cunning, oratory, wit, and messages. Also Hermes is Thoth going back further I find out just last month and dive in, get intrigued of similar ideas and experiences and duck out of reading about because I want to get this out first then we can explore ancient tablets, stories and riddles and unlock the mysteries of things hidden and locked away.
If you want to go down this rabbit hole, I would advise checking out Billy Carson’s Book, Compendium of the Emerald Tablets, I can’t wait to read it and explore, but first this…..stay on task D0a. This is my next study since I have been called to the Egyptian book of the dead, and John Anthony Wests, work Magical Egypt, since middle school, learning of Hermeticism and of previous beings on this planet..
The staff is a Bene Gesserit, Gom Jabbar with their symbol on the handle and the four core planets of the Dune universe during the time of Paul Atredies, a, troubled by his gift and curse, sudo-hero for those of us with A.D.D. and tend to see and analyze way too much information. I have my childrens constellations Leo and Aquarius.
But I also have something else very important to me written in Freman text saying, Fear is the Mind killer, which is a reference to the last Frank Quote for the day…….. Happy Birthday Frank Herbert! 10/08/2024
The following litany against fear written in Dune got me trough the endless days traveling one foot in front of the other through the desert in avatar D3 universe and timeline.
Plugged In:
I’m Derek,
February 13th 2023,
I started a very confusing and exciting journey through the spaces in between life and death. I had a severe case of pancreatitis Super Bowl Sunday February 12th 2023. The day started normal enough, but around midday I had a shot of fireball which, at the time, was standard before a party like the Super Bowl. Then, My wife and I met up with some friends at the local bar near the hosts party with him, Cameron. I had a drink at the bar and then got really sick.
I got taken to Cam’s house, the one throwing the party, a dear friend. I was toughing it out, but my friends and family knew I was in trouble. They threw me in a car, Cam left his own Super Bowl party to drive me to the hospital. Something I will be forever grateful for, because like most men, a trip to the hospital on deaths door is never in the cards without someone’s push. I’m quite stubborn and quite anxious if I knew I was ruining someone’s party with this stupid stomach pain.
Cam, had to do the talking when we arrived and tell the nurses everything. I couldn’t think or talk, there was an excruciatingly dull forever throb in my side. I was dying, and Cam knew it, but he came into the ER room with me while they shot me up with every pain killer in the book. Nothing took effect, only pain and time, as slow as one can imagine, in and out of consciousness I fall out of consciousness, on and off, pain, throb, off. My wife traded out with Cam the following morning the 13th. I, at some point aspirated my own vomit and got pneumonia, my lungs went into septic shock ARDS. I was in and out of consciousness at this time and heavily drugged seeing life through a filter of pain and haze. I got taken to the ICU and then I can only assume died at least one time. My lungs were septic, my heart was failing, but I was fighting them they said. They had to put me in a coma to work on me, my heart decided this was not for it and checked out a bit, They left me in a coma because they couldn’t stabilize me. I was in a medically induced coma from that point on for 3 weeks until they woke me up. When in a medically induced coma a few things happen to the body that most people might have an idea about but not at which the speed of these systems decline. Medically induced comas have a 27% mortality rate off the jump, and after 24 hours your survival drops by 10% a day, and your muscles recede at 20% per that same day. During this time my lungs and heart were playing Whack a mole with death, I was traveling through space time. I have since been compelled to write my story, driven and obsessed!
Why?
Maybe the answers are within…….I wrote the following immediately and to the upsetting looks of my family who I had just found again after a really long journey through the space between.
I could barely hold a pen and write, everything was sore, but I had places to remember and notes as you will see that I needed later during this writing process. I came to find out that these notes and outline didn’t matter the memories didn’t fade as I thought they might at the time like a dream.
Now, during the full journey there were dream like experiences at times interwoven inside the main story lines and these were dreams just like they are in this reality, they would happen as I was sleeping in the space that I was currently inhabiting. As anyone who has experience these types of NDE or very heavy doses of Psylocibin will tell you, those realities and visions are more vivid and “real” then normal waking life, so yes they stay permanently wedged into my psyche for all time. A deal was made and the journey back was understood to be perilous but directions not known.
I had what I can only describe in human words and sentences as a near death experience mixed with a longer near death experience interwoven with coma visions and multiple dimensional jumping with this soul, spirit, or consciousness, but the experience was oh, so much more than that. A few interlocking stories filled with information and coded in time. I traveled through different avatars with this consciousness, different than my own, some human in form, others I was unsure really of the vessel I embodied. I experienced in total a multiple years of time and space during this adventure. It was a Hero’s journey just as we know them, I was ripped out of my stable life that I had built like Luke off Tatooine (Star Wars) or Paul from Caladin (Dune), two of my favorites but at the awesome age of 42 years old. Right before my 43rd birthday. Sent on a journey that started with an escape, a heist, a conspiracy plot, saving the world to saving children from storms, working with therapy technology and AR/VR/AI technology way beyond current, ending in death and a more powerful leveled up rebirth and an incredible journey home through vast lands and trials of different kinds. I have been compelled to write of my experience since I woke up.
“Tales of life, death and an endless search thru multiple dimensions of time and space to get back to the life and family that was once known and loved. Once travelling through these lands, mysteries, dimensions and fighting some of these evils, you will come back a different person, hopefully a better one. Get lost in this story, at times you will be lost., ????? (scared), confused, and not know how it all connects, but that is the journey. I do promise it has a beginning and an end that is cohesive, even though the rest may seem like a waking fever dream.”
As well as writing out this brief outline of events and images that I thought at the time would be fleeting like a dream, but that has not happened.
I had to record, had to explore, research, learn of this space and this experience and share it with humanity. I hope this touches you as it certainty did me, maybe it will touch your mind spiritually, maybe technologically, but it needs to be written in order for me to understand what I can. Life is quite different now, so journey with me and explore my memories of that space help me unlock the mysteries wrapped within of which there are many.. D0a -Derek……………………. Keep Searching!
I have always been a fan and fascinated with ancient Egypt! I remember as a child being enraptured so much by John Anthony West’s work Magical Egypt, as an adult after my return to life, and I repurchased it for my mother and myself. https://www.magicalegypt.com/
I had a new Ancient knowledge pull, a drive to research my event and the mysteries now in front of me. I needed to uncover these with an open mind to see what attached in what literature to what parts of my Journey. I went back to my love of Egypt because I knew and have followed my favorite teachers of current ideas Egyptology and those are the likes of Randall Carlson, Graham Hancock, Christopher Dunn and the late great opener of the door to this line of study outside of the closed doors of Archeology John Anthony West.
Egypt, was, no matter which idea’s of history you follow, the archeologist narrative, or the ancient apocalypse narrative, one thing that can not by denied is the longevity of the Egyptian civilization. This is a culture that yes, thrived and they did both before and after polytheism and monotheism, for thousands of years by looking in more then we do now, and at what’s after death. Which we deny is anything but a happy place or bad place, that’s incredibly generic and way too simple.
I can tell you what I thought of both the Light and the Dark, but this is only the smallest fraction of what’s going on back there behind deaths curtain. In fact to take a solid journey to adulthood now, one must travel to the jungles of Peru to acquire the briefest encountering of the wisdom of mother earth in the jungle for a few hours you get to travel ethereally while staying paralyzed terrestrially and commune with the divine and bring back clarity and a new sense of self and respect for life, hopefully on how to clean and fix what you asked from it.
If you didn’t respect the hallucinogens or the substances you took they will teach you harder to learn and scarier lessons going deeper into the darkest places of the soul, this was no different, the fight to reach anything not the dark is brain washing, intoxicating, to a point, go towards the light, let the hallucinogens take you, kill your fear of death and ego by preparing your mind to understand. It IS separate from your body, this is ego death and happens when you respectfully take a breakthrough dose of psychedelics, 5 grams of dried mushrooms with the proper set and setting with the right questions asked, on a known safe mind, or when you die or take DMT to my understanding but lack of experience.
This is also pre death as well as a way to travel planes of space. See this is where we need more research into the study of death and psychedelics and what happens in that space. Listen to the people that say they have seen behind the curtain, listen to them talk, listen to their past and how it manifested in that space with an open mind and an ever inquisitive one like mine and here ye find gold!
Look for and read the “Banned”, Hidden, Ancient, Clay, “Secret” information and question reality, take these things and blend with real science that we are just figuring out now on earth and it’s has been figured out already but lost! Herbert and Thompson got me reading again as a teenager, I had forgotten the page again in my 30s. I was a huge Stephen King reader only as a young child, I know I broke my brain with horror at a young age. I read “IT” in sixth grade followed by “The Stand”. I feel like I accidentally broke my child Cora’s by showing them Aliens way to young, but to be fair she would cry out for the bad witch to come back on screen when she would leave watching Wizard of Oz as a young child, and by 11 years old was rivaling our favorite slashers practical effects makeup art. We did name her Cora after the Greek goddess Persephone, her real name being Kore.
Yes, I loved horror and it was my first true real idea for a story at 13 in middle school, and my creative writing teacher at the time David Worley that solidified my love of writing by teaching me that it is OK to write about whatever I could imagine. I wrote a story a page or two long that mirrored the gross and bloody images and scenarios I could create in a universe Stephen King had already laid the foundation for in my mind. I could get lost here and allowed to create from this space of horror fantasy this art and story content from my mind that I still have to this day, that little story that I had to end sloppy and quick not to different from the genius of King: This 13 year old had a long road, he had been neglecting by only starting so, so, many other manuscripts and projects and not honing this skill, words to page, you were told then by a wise advisor to Write! Hone and learn! You required an experience to write about so live free young seeker and explore, I forgot these dreams once!
That’s when I knew I wanted to create a story and tell it to the world I had since forgotten in D0’s later life, but not that really, my goal was to be the hero on a hero’s journey. However, your chances of getting plucked as an average middle class, white male in a Midwest suburb of St. Louis, with average talent and skill due to average effort no doubt and a neurodivergent brain, umm… slim to none! I didn’t craft enough of that one skill here that I excelled at, this and computers, which at the time the Apple IIe’s were used for mainly Number Munchers and Oregon Trail, but my Mom the middle school drama teacher had my doorway into that later tangent. We are on writing and Egypt Derek, That’s right.
So, I found the Egyptian book of the dead also, in an odd way through my best friend Damian, and our good friend Amanda, I remember being fascinated so much with the Egyptian book of the dead in the corner of her room that day, I had to buy a copy and read it, talked about it for a bit at the time, still on my shelf:
It spoke to me then, and I forgot since then until I explored the space behind death! This is where my love comes full circle, they had a deeper understanding and knowledge of interplanetary travel in the ethereal, so is the war of technology mirroring that of the cosmos, or as the fractal nature of the universe, in chaos always, and it is our job to use this thought of the lights muse to pull and create from. To outer space, to the cosmos, can we get there the rudimentary way by concurring the physical restraints of the darkness and building technology to travel ethereal space, or are we just opening doors to the dimensional simulation space by the control room technology I experienced, were the underground efforts in my adventure to be followed, trusted, or believed?
If I want to have a return visit and touch it again then yes, maybe and that means just this, exploring and writing about my experience and hoping it touches as many people as possible, no doubt upsetting many along the way that didn’t read this far anyway. But, if you seek like I do, then there again are puzzles here, big ones to explore with me if you so choose to have an open mind enough to listen and read.
Pick up some of the threads weaved into the underlying story, deduce your truths from the knowledge see the gods, God, or god and get the power and strength that, that particular deity lets you have, when you have it use it and do the work, then the rewards will follow! This is the true nature of religions, how we treat others matters in a deeper place then the fear of death, but if we understand death of the human form, avatar or body is not soul death, but that can and does have other places to rest, somehow?
That, I don’t wish to yet explore in the dark or the light. I eventually want to explore the light that said your home and you can rest, but I couldn’t rest, I told it I had to come back. It told me that this journey is very difficult. I wanted to find home and see everything this experience had to offer at this point, feeling confident I could make it back and confused because I had been witnessnow to something truly wicked and something truly blissful, but what is all this extra in between? This all, also has to be real, and it is written about in ancient texts. I see a culture that once again is reaching for an awakening and getting war as a response, over what? a place on earth?
While just as important your, my dad can beat up your dad argument kills millions of lives, some who might have very well grown into soul enlightenment and together we can join they party taking place on Valhalla in the cosmos with the other space faring beings, why would you accept the apes among you until they calmed down and stopped killing each other they are waiting for us, we are a unique blend of tech.
Is it the source I got connected to? it sure felt and seemed like it, every story, every prose, every communication written about communicating with deities is written with this belief, if that was God, then there are many levels of planar species throughout the universe as hominids and I have so much more to tell. The human story is a small but important piece to the cosmic puzzle!
